Imaginary Elements

Some of us have been wishing for elements that don’t actually exist. Here are some examples–feel free to add your ideas in the comments section.

click on photo to enlarge

Mint + tinfoil = Mintinium Used to create wrappers stuffed with peppermint infused sweet fondant enrobed in dark chocolate. The melting point of Mintinium is 98.6 degrees F, the same temperature as the mouth cavity of a human body. Mintinium changes from a solid to a liquid even more quickly when left on the dashboard of a car on a warm sunny day in May. Artist: Vicky Jo Bogart

Surprise - Because every quilt should have the element of surprise. Artist: Karla Rose Hanson

Senilium -- An element that accumulates in the brain over time and causes small black holes to appear the memory. Artist: Lona Daly Getz

Martinium -- An necessary element for civilized life. Artist: Mary Ann Waxler

Jargon -- Prevalent in nearly every profession this ignoble gas is totally transparent when used in internal conversation and documents. Infected users often deny that Jargon has invaded their communications systems. However when applied in broader populations the exact properties of Jargon becomes opaque, dense and unintelligible. Unfortunately, Jargon is very active and no one has yet been able to isolate and contain it within its specific orbital field. Artist: Virginia Dambach

Fargon: the only element discovered in North Dakota is an ignoble gas, one of the extreme elements: it's always either too hot, too cold, too wet or too dry. Atomic number 2222 Artist: Kim Baird

Accruemeum -- To be added to as an increase- ("Accrue-Me" um) Discovered by Kim Stenehjem and Virginia Dambach, Accruemeum acts as a powerful magnet bringing all things shiny, colorful and glittery to a sewing space. Beware of this element's cumulative effects as stashes seem to double overnight and embellishments seem to multiply by the hundreds. Pretty soon things are spiraling out of control! Artist: Julie Richardson

Menopausium -- An element which only exists in nature in the female gender. Artist: Pam Davis

Aldenteum (Ad) is named for an Italian cooking term, al dente, meaning “firm to the bite.” It is the most abundant element in Italian restaurants. It is created in kitchens and factories from durum / semolina wheat flour and has a shelf life of five years. Inferior imitations are made from whole wheat. Atomic number: 210 (calories per serving) Color: ecru with a yellowish tinge Physical characteristics: solid in original state, but expands and softens when exposed to moisture and heat; available in hundreds of shapes History: first documented in Italian writings from the 13th and 14th centuries Uses: carrier for Saucium. Artist: Clare Degerness

More Ideas

Deb Mohr thinks there should be grandmamanium

Kim Stenehjem thinks that whoever chose the temporary names for two new elements pandemonium and delirium was on the right track

Virginia, of course, wants cornucopium

Kim Baird would like to see perturbium and disturbium

Linda Larson suggested planetarium (when she viewed Julie’s Copernicium).

Clare likes delphinium

Mary Ann suggests mariannum, which is the slowest element. It’s found in molasses.

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5 thoughts on “Imaginary Elements

  1. Debra Mohr says:

    Then there’s HORMONIUM with an atomic number that fluctuates with the time of the month. Do not rub it the wrong way or it may ignite.

  2. Debra Mohr says:

    also on HORMONIUM; the absence of hormonium is known to cause a short and sudden rise in temperature

  3. Craig Erickson says:

    My sis – Marlyn Anderson, St. Cloud, MN – is a quilter. I’m a car guy. In the 1970’s, I heard a speech given by famous Porsche race car driver/engineer Mark Donohue who was tragically killed later in a race
    track accident. When asked by news media what material Porsche used for internal engine parts such as pistons, connecting rods and crankshafts, Mark’s reply was “Unobtanium”. A quilt design to reflect this “element” could utilize such auto engine parts!

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